Revolving Doors.

These nights feel deserted. Or maybe everybody just left you. No, they never came at all. & if they did, for all the wrong reasons. One of the hardest things to do is to show a stranger who you really are. If they understand, once you let them enter your world everything changes. The emptiness goes away. Everything you have ever wanted unfolds right before your eyes. You are connected to someone who is real, & when I say real I mean Alive. You feel as though you are living and no longer surviving. Like you belong here. But there is a catch. This newly found powerful energy can be ripped from your grasp at any moment without warning. Can you watch it just leave? No, you fight. Even when you can't. Even after the truth stares at you and smiles. Even after the words have killed something inside of you. You have to try. But There's nothing you can do. Why? Because they don't understand enough to know how it affects you. The tears, the suicidal thoughts, the feeling of everything you have ever believed in being a lie. They don't care, but they do. It all happens so quickly. Its over. Over because they never knew you. They don't know you, they don't even remember you now. They don't care if you exist any longer. Because they don't understand. You'll question if you are Alive again & again. It wasn't meant to be. Why me?

Soul Mate.

I'm always waiting for something to find me. Not success. There's things I want more than being successful. Its hard for me to enjoy things because most of the time I feel incomplete. Like someone is suppose to be here with me. Not a friend or a family member, but a soul whos been waiting for the same thing as me. Although I'm waiting, I'm still always searching. I'm not talking about love. This is deeper than love. This is destiny. I KNOW ill find it because even when all hope is lost, I feel me getting closer. This is not something I just want, this is something that is suppose to happen. Everything before right now was wrong. My mind has steered me wrong, my heart has steered me wrong, but the two things that have always steered me right are my soul and my guardians. I have help here. In physical form and the spiritual. They tell me you're coming. Find me, I want to be where you are..